He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
