He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
sex in a hospital.. check
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
