Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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