grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
