I seem to have left my pride at pride
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
