If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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