I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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