This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
