Me. At least after what I've been through.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
