Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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