My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
