I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
