Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
as a side note pls kill me
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize