I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
