This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just googled if crying burns calories
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
