Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
