youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
