You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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