i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
