New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
