Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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