Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
