Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
im holly from the hills drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
