I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
