Only a mothe r could love this liver
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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