come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
