How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
