I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
