I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
