she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
