I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
