Where is the hickey?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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