And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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