His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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