The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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