I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize