she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
