we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
