non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
