my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize