I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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