I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize