Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
And then he peed in my hair
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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