He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
