We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
