this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
