Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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