like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
