Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
