you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
