Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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