He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize