This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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