haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
