how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
