I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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