if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
