Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
