My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
