eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
