Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
