Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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