why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
