Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
